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User talk:RoseRyuzaki
Hey, this is ienzo628. I am glad I found you. I hope to hear from you soon. Bye02:35, January 1, 2015 (UTC)Hellhound_Iscariot Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Origin of 5 Sword Janiel page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Underscorre (talk) 06:29, February 2, 2015 (UTC) Additionally you need to look over the Genre Listing for categories rules as you violated multiple rules by tagging standalone categories in the same story. (Some of which had little to no relevance in the story itself.)EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:23, February 2, 2015 (UTC) ^ As I'm currently at work, I don't have much time to go in-depth as to why it didn't meet quality standards until I get back in a few hours. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:53, February 2, 2015 (UTC) :Okay, starting with the smaller things. There is no need to indent each paragraph. Most stories here don't as attempting to indent can cause some pretty large formatting issues. (Additionally as you could tell when you copy/pasted your story, all the paragraphs weren't indented. You also switch between three spaces and one (One is easier to read and makes the story seem less padded out.) Additionally categories should only be used where applicable. Tagging ("Disappearances", "Dismemberment", Monsters", "Ghosts", "Gods", "Animals", "Beings", and "Nature") in the story makes it seem like you are Creepypasta Wiki:Pointsgaming and try to earn badges duplicitously. :Punctuation issues: You use two apostrophes to signify dialogue when you should be using quotation marks. (")Damn it Carl I told you to close the windows when you sleep.("), (") Stupid fucking animal you shouldn't hide in weird places!("), (")I never had to come in here to begin with, great.("), (")GET OFF OF ME(./!) LEAVE ME ALONE! ("), etc. While it may seem like a small issues, it is actually problematic as using two apostrophes in conjunction results in italics (and three bolds text) You use ellipses in the story to denote a dramatic pause when ellipses are reserved for pauses in dialogue and omission of words from a quote. Using it in the story itself comes off as melodramatic. Apostrophes missing from words denoting possession: "moment(')s notice", "For fuck(')s sake", "hopping up onto the figure(')s shoulder" :Wording issues: "The usual day, so he had fallen asleep quickly once he hit the bed.". You additionally stretch out words very frequently and strip its effectiveness and it comes off as gimmicky. "noo", "Whyy" Grammar: it's=it is, it's=possession. ("it's (its)limbs", "it's (its) ruby eyes") :Story issues: Cliches like writing in blood ("written in blood, "Do you believe in fate? If so, come for your friend, if you wish to change his."") Additionally how did Janiel break the glass, abduct his friend, and write a blood message without alerting anyone? (Especially the protagonist sleeping in the same room.) The story seems like a vehicle for your CC (creepy pasta character) and there is little plot or tension. (Boy goes into woods to find his friend, dies.) Finally there is the ending: "So... what fate do you wish for?" Are we to assume Janiel is writing this. If so, why? Why is he posting this? What were his intentions in the first place with abducting a child and murdering them? Why is he writing this at all? (If he's not writing it, then what is the purpose and who is the speaker of the closing line?) I hope that clears up why your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:01, February 2, 2015 (UTC) ::Here is the link to the writer's workshop. Not to discourage you, but in order to re-post the story, you will have to make a deletion appeal and given the issues I outlined above, this is going to take quite a bit of re-working and re-tooling the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:27, February 7, 2015 (UTC)